50 pages • 1 hour read
Pearl CleageWhat Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day
Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 1997A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
Personal and Social Impacts of Living With HIV/AIDS
Ava Johnson’s life changes forever after she tests positive for HIV. Before her diagnosis, Ava believed that she was free to move wherever she liked, have sex with whomever she pleased, and put off plans for her future as long as she desired. As soon as she discovers that she’s sick, Ava’s sense of time, self, and reality dismantle. Social and cultural stigmas surrounding HIV and AIDS dictate how Ava sees herself and her future opportunities. The novel establishes the relationship between Ava’s cultural context and her personal experience in Part 1, Chapter 1. While sitting at the airport bar, Ava overhears a television talk show in which “[t]hey [are] interviewing some women with what the host [keeps] calling full-blown AIDS. As opposed to half-blown AIDS” (3). These lines establish the social atmosphere and political climate of Ava’s world. Although Ava’s sister doesn’t reject her after her diagnosis, Ava encounters disrespect and harassment in her work and community contexts. For example, she’s harassed at her hair salon in Atlanta and verbally attacked at the pharmacy in Idlewild. Such acts of aggression convey the social adversity Ava faces as she tries to adjust to her diagnosis and maintain her self-pride and sense of the future in the meantime.
Social stigmas surrounding HIV/AIDS impact the way that Ava sees herself and relates to others. In the past, Ava was free to exercise her sexual liberties however she chose. In the narrative present, she self-isolates because she’s learned to be ashamed of and feel guilty for having HIV. In Part 1, Chapter 11, she admits that it’s “hard to think about” her past relationships now “without beating [her]self up for being so stupid” (47). Her illness and cultural context have impeded her ability to self-reflect and make change in positive, healthy ways. Instead, she’s compelled to see herself as “a walking time bomb” who should avoid human contact and intimacy to protect those around her (47). Her diagnosis has thus altered her life in unimaginable ways. Testing positive for HIV compels her to make unexpected changes, including contacting all her old lovers, selling her hair salon, and moving back to Idlewild. At first, these alterations to Ava’s personal life feel disruptive and negative. Over time, however, these changes usher Ava towards personal growth and self-empowerment. Ava doesn’t reconcile herself with death by the end of the novel, but she does learn how to love herself and others better in the time she has left.
Power of Community and Family Bonds
Ava discovers the Power of Community and Family Bonds via her relationships with Joyce, Eddie, Imani, and the Sewing Circus. When Ava first returns to Idlewild from Atlanta, she doesn’t plan to stay beyond the end of the summer. She’s excited to reunite with her sister but cannot predict how her relationships with Imani, Eddie, and the Sewing Circus will change her life. In Part 1, Chapter 13, she still sees Idlewild, the Circus, and Imani as “Joyce’s real life” and thus “just a stopover on [hers]” (55). However, as the weeks and months pass, Ava finds herself deriving real joy from her involvement with the family and community. In Part 1, Chapter 23, for example, Ava’s evening with Joyce, Eddie, and the new addition to their family, Imani, makes Ava want to cry “at how much [she is] going to miss” (89). She realizes that she is creating a new sort of family with her sister, future lover, and the baby. This family circle deepens Ava’s enjoyment of life and thus heightens her fear of dying and leaving her family behind. At the same time, as Ava’s relationships with Joyce, Eddie, and Imani deepen, Ava discovers that family grants her the grace, the strength, and the love to face her uncertain future.
Ava’s involvement with the Sewing Circus teaches her how to help others and love selflessly. When Ava first learns about the group, she dismisses the Circus as another one of Joyce’s pet projects. However, the more time she spends with Joyce and the women’s group, the more Ava understands the social and communal importance of Joyce’s efforts. In Part 3, Chapter 1, for example, Ava “really [feels] the possibilities of what Joyce [is] trying to do for the first time and [she has] to admit it [is] sort of exciting to be a part of it” (161). By helping Joyce develop the group’s statement of purpose and goals, Ava realizes that Joyce’s work is relevant to all young women yearning to be free. Furthermore, Ava, Joyce, and Eddie bond over the Sewing Circus, thus merging Ava’s familial and communal realms. The entanglement of these spheres in turn helps Ava feel more alive than she has in years. Ava’s newfound connections to her family and her community lend her comfort and support and reignite her capacities for hope and joy.
Journey of Returning Home and Reclaiming One’s Identity
Ava’s return to Idlewild catalyzes her journey towards self-discovery. When Ava first comes back to her Michigan hometown, she sees her time there as a transitional phase before her permanent move to San Francisco at the end of the summer. Indeed, in Part 1, Chapter 3, driving back into town with Eddie reminds Ava of how excited and relieved she was to leave Idlewild when she moved away years prior. She’s always seen Idlewild as a place she had to escape and must continue to avoid. Returning to the town therefore feels like a failure and a regression to Ava. However, at the start of the novel, she doesn’t yet know how encountering her past self will lead her to her future self.
Idlewild is symbolic of Ava’s former life. It is not only the town where she grew up, but also the town where both of her parents died and where her sister experienced her own succession of tragedies. When Ava comes back, she immediately encounters the literal and metaphoric ghosts of her past, including specters of her old self. However, characters like Joyce and Eddie give Ava the opportunity to rediscover Idlewild and herself in turn. In Part 2, Chapter 10, for example, Eddie reminds Ava that their former experiences in Idlewild are a part of another life and that “[a]ll this stuff here is brand-new” (121). Eddie is a positive force for change in Ava’s life. He encourages Ava to let go of who she was and to forgive herself for the mistakes she made. Eddie assures Ava that in doing so, she will open herself to new opportunities and new versions of herself. Eddie’s history is an example of these notions as he has redeemed and recreated himself since returning to Idlewild after the war and after prison.
Ava’s narrative spans six months, which collectively convey her character’s growth over time. At the start of Part 1, Ava is cynical and fatalistic. She sees herself as a tainted individual who has messed up her life and squandered her opportunities. After she returns home and develops relationships with Joyce, Eddie, and Imani, however, the way she sees herself begins to change. She learns how to show love and to receive love. She learns how to support her family and community while accepting support from them in turn. As a result of these experiences, Ava redefines who she has been and who she will be during the time she has left. Therefore, her journey back to her home helps her to reclaim her authentic sense of self.
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