We Should All Be Feminists

Okoloma was a close childhood friend of Adichie’s who later died in a plane crash. Adichie recalls an argument that she once had with him, a memory that both opens and closes the essay. In the argument—the substance of which Adichie can no longer recall—Okoloma called her a “feminist.” Adichie didn’t know the word’s meaning at the time but assumed from Okoloma’s tone that it was an insult. The body of the essay explores why she thought this, and why feminism and gender roles remain such contentious subjects.

Okoloma is one of a few figures in Adichie’s essay to whom she feels close but whose views on sexism and the role of women differ from her own. Adichie is careful to note her affection and mourning for Okoloma even while her adult self disagrees with him. Her memory of their argument illustrates the difficulty of challenging social norms when many who uphold them are one’s own family and friends.

Louis is an adult friend of Adichie’s. She describes him as intelligent, well-meaning, and liberal but also indifferent to the need to combat sexism. He tells Adichie that he sees sexism as a problem of the past, and that he doesn’t understand the point of contemporary feminism. He doesn’t notice the small discriminations that Adichie faces as a woman when the two of them go out: how waiters and taxi drivers routinely ignore her and pay attention only to Louis.

Because Louis benefits from the status quo, he doesn’t have to challenge it or look past it. He shows the degree to which obliviousness can be a learned behavior based on habit and privilege. In addition, he shows that even people who consider themselves open-minded can have blind spots and that these people are perhaps especially hard to persuade.