The Fire This Time

Jackson’s essay begins by asking how boys without fathers spell the word father. In a video, a poet dreamed he spelled that word by spelling the word mother instead and insisted it was a proper substitute for father. Jackson disagrees that mothers can be fathers. He acknowledges changing gender roles and emphasizes that young women need fathers. However, mothers provide irreplaceable support to daughters, while fathers provide irreplaceable support to sons. (In a footnote, Jackson clarifies that he means cis males and females.) Sons need fathers, whether biological ones or various male figures who provide fatherly support. 

Jackson himself, whose father did not parent him during his early years, assembles a father from many men in his life. He likens this practice to that of President Barack Obama and, in an extended footnote, details the fragmented fatherhood of Obama and several other presidents. Obama, whose father left him as a child, was parented by his maternal grandfather and a now-infamous figure named Frank Marshall Davis, whose leftist beliefs apparently informed some of Obama’s platform and policies. George Washington lost his father as a child and found a composite in his brother Lawrence, who preceded him in military service and political office. Thomas Jefferson also had composite fathers who instructed him in philosophy and politics. Likewise, Gerald Ford grew up without knowing that the man who raised him, Gerald Ford, Sr., was not his biological father but his stepfather. 

Jackson’s composite fathers—whom he collectively calls Pops—include his mother’s boyfriend, a grandfather, two uncles, and his biological father. This assembly helped guide Jackson to maturity. 

His first composite father was Big Chris, his mother’s boyfriend for many years and the father of Jackson’s two half-brothers. He showed fatherly affection to Jackson just as he did his biological sons. At the end of Big Chris’s life, Jackson rushed to see him one last time, but Big Chris died while he was on the plane. Some of Big Chris’s last words expressed dismay that he would not see Jackson, which assured Jackson of their strong family connection.

Sam, Jackson’s maternal grandfather, was a churchgoing man who helped Jackson’s mother in financial hardship. Jackson lived with Sam, whom he called Dad, and his cousin Jesse during high school. In a footnote, Jackson describes Jesse’s background as an orphaned child whom Sam raised as his son. Sam supported Jackson in basketball, enforced a set of household chores, and gave the young man money. In a footnote, Jackson describes taking girls to his basement bedroom, but Sam caught him several times. Once, Sam encountered Jackson with a girl outside the house and slapped him, so Jackson stopped bringing girls to the house.

Jackson’s uncle Ant reveled in his near-miss at All-American status for high school track and trained Jackson for his own city championship in track. During the meet, Jackson struggled but heard his uncle yell, “REACH, nephew! REACH!” (184). Jackson won, and Ant gloried in the win. He taught his nephew the value of hard work and to have faith in himself.  

Jackson’s uncle Henry was a legendary and very successful drug dealer. Jackson and his brother sold drugs and met with Henry, whose success had waned, to learn the tricks of the trade. Henry advised the young men to pursue smaller sales rather than wait for more profitable ones—a greater lesson about the value of hustling to which Jackson still adheres. 

Jackson met his biological father Wesley at ten years old. On a trip to California, Jackson avoided the pool for fear of ruining his hair and discomfort with swimming. Wesley picked up Jackson and threw him in the water. After thrashing and yelling, Jackson gradually relaxed and had fun with his family. This event taught him to develop life skills for all circumstances, since he won’t always receive help. 

Although Jackson’s fathers are not perfect, they provide plenty of value for Jackson’s growth into a young man. They are not mentors who instruct without emotional involvement, but parents who guide him with love. They shape Jackson’s identity into a man always becoming and teach him lessons about family, faithfulness, hustle, and believing in himself. Jackson carries these principles into fathering his two children. He concludes the essay by thanking Pops.