I Let You Go

Ian Peterson is the villain of the piece, even though he is not introduced until 200 pages in. Although not a particularly complicated “bad guy,” he is rendered with enough depth that he becomes a fascinating character study of the type of textbook psychopath who would lie, manipulate, kill children, and rape his wife without remorse. His abuse of Jenna covers the gamut of possibilities—physical, mental, emotional, financial, psychological. Yet, he feels the victim the whole time, which speaks to the narcissism and the lack of empathy that typifies his type of personality disorder.

In the beginning of the story, he is only seen briefly as a shadowy and vague figure never mentioned by name. In the second half of the book, he begins the narrative by outlining the history of his relationship with Jenna, whom he calls Jennifer. From the beginning, his pursuit of the young art student reveals as much about him as her: his predatory instincts, his version of love, his obsessive tendencies. He first notes how he must have stood out among the crowd of students, belittling “women’s conversations” (203), and as she strikes his eye, feeling disappointed that her name did not match her classically beautiful physical attributes. Later, as their relationship develops an unhealthy power dynamic, he says, “I would have done anything to have kept you” (269). Throughout, he blames Jenna for his bad behavior. When he worries about Jenna breaking down and talking about him to the police, he says, “Calling me a bully; an abuser; a wife-beater. I was none of those things: I never gave you anything you didn’t ask for” (271).

On their wedding night, when he beats her for the first time, he notes, “I was sorry to see that, after everything, you were just the same as all the others” (314). He wages a campaign to isolate Jenna from her friends and family, to keep her dependent on him, to make her feel unskilled and unwanted by others so that he can control her more easily. As with many true-life psychopaths, he is known to the police, which readers learn at the end; while Jenna may not have felt brave enough back then to report his behavior, neighbors and his ex-girlfriend did. In this part of the book, as he hunts Jenna down and terrorizes her, he becomes an overt threat, writing her name on the sand, breaking into her house, and forcing her to do things at his whim. Yet eventually he loses his life, as well as his grip on Jenna’s sanity and survival. 

Ray is a Detective Inspector with the Bristol Crime Investigation Department, married with two children, striving for a promotion that will more easily allow him to pay for his kids’ education. Throughout this story, he struggles with certain events in his life: the distance between himself and his ex-policewoman wife, Mags; his attraction to young, idealistic Kate; and the revelation that his troubled son Tom is having problems at school.

His career is not problem-free, either, as he must grapple with the political aspirations of his boss and how it interferes with the actual duty of putting criminals away and setting things to rights. Yet, during the course of the investigation, he finds his passion for the job re-ignited by Kate, which may be one reason he is attracted to her. He says, “Working with Kate had reminded him why he joined the police all those years ago. He had found his old passion for the job, and from now on he was going to do what was right, not what suited the bosses” (151).

Because the story really focuses on Jenna, and because life is messy, Ray’s story is not satisfactorily completed, although it does seem as though it is headed in a positive direction when the book closes. At least he finally realizes Mags is unhappy at home and wants to return to work. He also believes that he must begin to prioritize his family. He acts as a foil to Ian, in that he takes responsibility for his choices rather than blaming them on others.

Detective Constable Kate Evans is part of Ray’s team. In a way, her role in this story is to be both a counterpoint to Mags and a representation of the ideals that Ray feels somewhat removed from as an older and more experienced police officer. She is younger and still fired up about the good she can do; she makes Ray wish to be a more compassionate and effective leader because he values her good opinion. They work closely together on the case, successfully locating the woman they believe is the guilty party. While the story never delves into Kate’s feelings about the kiss she and Ray share, she is clearly at a younger, less responsible stage in her life—and is rendered less likeable as a result. When Ray comments on his kids, she says she doesn’t want them for a long time: “There’s far too much fun to be had first” (97). When they pick up Jenna, Kate is unable to hide her animosity towards the woman she believes hit a kid with her car but seems to regret her attitude later—showing that she does care, and that her desire to do well at her job is related to her general personality as a decent, well-meaning, but perhaps emotionally immature, somewhat hot-headed young woman.

Patrick stands in contrast to Ian as a man who helps Jenna to recover from her previous horrifying relationship. He is naturally confused by her reactions to certain incidences, which trigger her defenses and require patience and understanding to overcome. She meets Patrick, a veterinarian, after discovering two discarded puppies on the road, one dead and one in need of medical care. Slowly, the two characters build a path to one another. Jenna assumes Patrick, once he finds out about her past, will not want anything to do with her, but she finds that he has ghosts and griefs in his past, too. She says, “For the first time I’m with someone who needs me as much as I need him” (180). He and the dog Beau, along with the setting of Wales itself, become the main instruments of Jenna’s slow healing process.