I Let You Go

Patrick drives Jenna home. In response to his question, she says she wanted to go to prison because someone had to pay for what happened. Then he asks about a baby’s toy in her wooden box. She tells him it belonged to her son, Ben. She finally explains part of her side of the story, regarding the pregnancy and death of her son.

At this point, Patrick pulls over and stops the car. Jenna continues the tale: Labor was induced at the hospital. Later, as she was seeking comfort, Ian told her that the baby never existed. She notes, “Ben might not have taken a breath, but he lived” (408). She and Patrick cry together.

They arrived at the caravan park. Jenna doesn’t want to face Iestyn, but Patrick says he has explained everything. She asks him to get Beau. He makes her tea and leaves. She turns off the light. 

Area Intelligence has found Ian Peterson’s address. Ray reminds Stumpy that Ian’s arrest is critical for the Jordan case and for Jenna’s safety. His team goes for the arrest at his home on Albercombe Terrace. He and Kate have weapons and body armor on as they go to the front of the house and knock. But the place is empty. Ray tells Kate to call Jenna’s phone, but it’s switched off. He also gets someone to visit Eve Mannings. He thinks they will need someone local and thinks of the caravan park. When Kate calls, Bethan answers.

Bethan wants to know what happened at court, but Ray and Kate are in a hurry. Bethan says she hasn’t seen Patrick or Jenna, but knows Jenna is back because she went to the beach. When asked how she knows, Bethan says she saw writing in the sand, which she assumes is Jenna’s. The word says “Betrayed.” 

Jenna is awakened by a knock, but then door is slammed open. She awaits Ian’s fist. As he rubs her neck, he accuses her of giving his name to the police. He grabs her hair, telling her not to lie. He has seen his name all over the Bristol Post. She promises to tell them it’s not true, and he slaps her and forces her upstairs. In the bathroom, he makes her undress while he draws a cold bath. He claims that “I let you go” (420), that if she had only kept her mouth shut she could have lived out her life.

He forces her into the icy tub water and puts bleach on a washcloth, telling her to scrub her body and face with it. She thinks, “This pain, this humiliation, this is worse than death. The end cannot come soon enough” (421). He tells her how easy she was to find and rails on the duplicity of women while she feels herself slipping under the water. He talks about how he was tricked into having a son, and Jenna thinks he is not making sense. And then Ian reveals he is not talking about her and Ben. He is speaking of Anya and Jacob.

Ian forces her out of the tub and into a dressing gown, while Jenna realizes the implications of what Ian has said. Ian killed his own son.

This flashback from Ian’s point of view begins when he demands that Jenna stop the car. She does but won’t look at him. He punches her, and her head hits the roof of the car. She slides into the road. Unlike before, his rage doesn’t dissipate with the violence and his chest remains tight. He orders his wife into the car and drives home. She says he is going too fast. They approach the street where Anya lives. He sees a woman and child, and realizes it is Anya, whom he had fired after having sex with her. He knows she will ruin everything. He pushes the accelerator to the floor.