I Let You Go

Mags and Ray are getting ready for a get-together to celebrate the end of the job: Stumpy and Kate are expected. Things are sensitive between them. Ray spent the night on the sofa, and he feels that Mags thinks everything he says seems wrong. He can’t help comparing Mags to Kate. He wonders if a public showdown is coming.

Mags says Tom got a letter from school, which says they want to discuss “an issue that has arisen within the school” (325). Ray thinks the school is finally admitting there’s a problem, that Tom is being bullied. Mags thinks she was a terrible mother to miss this and becomes emotional. The doorbell rings.

Kate meets Lucy and Tom, and asks about the bullying. Mags snaps that it is nothing they can’t handle. Ray gets a call from Stumpy, who can’t make it. It’ll be just the three of them. They awkwardly settle down to eat. Mags asks Kate about how she likes CID, and they banter about Ray’s habits at work until Mags makes it awkward again. Kate asks Mags if she misses being on the job. She says yes: “I don’t miss the job, exactly, but I miss the person I was back then. I miss having something to say, something to teach people” (332). Mags goes up to the kids, and Ray apologizes for her, saying that she is worried about Tom. Kate leaves before dessert.

Mags asks Ray to take Stumpy some chili the following day. She says Kate is pretty, but claims she is not jealous. She tells Ray that she loves the fact that the job is part of him, but she feels invisible—like she and the kids exist only in the background. Mags sees a connection between Ray and Kate; it’s only natural, when you’re working all hours with someone. But she reminds him that the kids are growing up and he’s missing it. 

Ian, considering the past, knows that Jenna never forgave him for Venice. On their first anniversary, he buys her a book on the artist Auguste Rodin and they go out to dinner. When she tells him she might teach an adult education class, he reminds her that those who can’t, teach. She brings up the idea of having a separate bank account for her business. He nixes the idea and asks if she wants more cash. When she says she needs more clothes, he offers to come shopping with her.

As they leave, he falls against a waiter and Jenna apologizes for Ian’s drunkenness. He pinches her arm, telling her never to do that. That night in bed, she apologizes and tries to initiate sex, but he can’t get aroused, and blames her. “’You don’t turn me on anymore,’ I said” (339).

Ian relates that after Jenna stops trying in bed, he starts looking elsewhere and stops coming home on Friday nights. He tries to see how far he can push her. One day, watching British football (soccer) she asks about Charlotte. He turns off the TV and lights a cigarette. When she asks him to smoke outside, he reminds her it is his house. He says he has no idea who Charlotte is, and hopes she is not accusing him of anything. He realizes she is wearing something revealing and asks if she went out like that. He accuses her of being a tart; he grinds his cigarette into her chest. 

Eve Mannings comes to the CID, and Ray is the on-duty DI. He asks Kate to see the woman. After the meeting, Kate comes to his office. She reports that Eve Mannings, from Oxford, is trying to find her sister Jennifer from Bristol. She says Eve and Jennifer fell out five years ago, but recently Eve’s brother-in-law stopped by, asking where Jennifer was. Jennifer had apparently sent Eve a postcard, but Eve just found it torn to pieces behind a clock on her mantelpiece. Eve is worried. Ray says the woman isn’t missing; she just doesn’t want to be found.

Ray asks Kate for a drink later. They talk about developments in Tom’s life for a minute, and Ray wonders if Kate ever thinks about that kiss. He takes out his phone, trying to figure out how to tell Mags about going out for a drink with Kate, and decides not to say anything at all.

Two weeks later, the bruises have faded enough for Jenna to go out in public. She needs dog food. She can’t help think someone is watching her, though. As she returns to the caravan park, she sees that her old Ford Fiesta has appeared in the lot. It still has a cracked front bumper and a broken windshield. She had left it in Bristol because she couldn’t bear to see it. She thinks she needs to get rid of it, but as she turns the keys in the ignition she remembers the accident. And she hears Ian’s voice. He has recorded a message on a CD in the car stereo system.

He asks if she remembers her wedding vows. His voice tells her he only gave her what she asked for. She jabs at the stereo to get the CD out and throws it in the hedge, screaming at him to leave her alone. Then she drives the car into the countryside, leaving it in an abandoned barn and covering with a tarpaulin. She walks home, thinking that in two weeks, she will be in prison and safe.

She takes Beau to the beach for a run. There is a figure on the cliff top, and Beau runs to it. It is Patrick. He mentions that he has left messages, which she knows. He implores her to talk to him and stop running away. It starts to rain. They run to her cottage, and Beau heads up the stairs. Patrick follows, seeing her wooden box before she pushes it under the bed. He tells her he will take care of Beau. She reminds him that it could be years. Patrick says, “Let’s just take each day as it comes” (353). He leaves.

Someone knocks at the door. It is Iestyn. He says he wants her out of the cottage. He cannot handle the pressure he is under from the local people; her guilt is his. And they are starting to shun his wife, Glynis. Jenna has nowhere to go, so she begs to stay until the sentencing. He agrees, but tells her to stay away from the village.