Gargantua And Pantagruel

Panurge becomes famous after his defeat of Thaumaste. Buoyed by the success, he pursues a lady of high social standing with a sexually-explicit offer. She repeatedly refuses him. The next day at a holy procession in church, Panurge sprays the lady with the ashes of a female dog in heat, causing all the male dogs around to chase her and urinate on her. The lady runs away to her mansion.

Pantagruel receives news that the Dispodes are sacking his homeland, Utopia. Pantagruel and his men sail to Achoria, which is close to the city of the Amaurots that the Dispodes are currently invading. He asks Panurge, Epistemon, Eusthenes, and Carpalim to spy on the enemy camp.

Just as Pantagruel is asking his friends to gather intel on the Dispodes, 660 knights approach his ship. Pantagruel’s men kill all the knights, save for one. The prisoner informs Pantagruel about the enormous army of the Dispodes, which includes beautiful Amazons as well as giants guarding the tent of Anarch, the King of Dispodes. Pantagruel asks his men to prepare to attack the army of the Dispodes.

Before heading for battle, Pantagruel erects a trophy—a pike staff decorated with various accouterments of war—to celebrate the bravery of his men and recites a heroic verse. Parodying Pantagruel, Panurge erects a trophy draped with wine flasks and offal and sings a bawdy song. The men then leap up, emitting flatulence. Pantagruel’s loud flatulence produces 53,000 tiny men and his quiet emissions produce as many tiny women. He calls the tiny people “pygmies” and bids them live on a nearby island.

Pantagruel sends the prisoner to the king of the Dispodes with a confection; if the king can swallow an ounce without a drink, he will be able to face Pantagruel fearlessly. When King Anarch and his men drink the syrup, their throats begin to burn, driving them to drink wine till they pass out. Pantagruel’s army arrives. Carpalim sets fire to the camp of the Dispodes. Pantagruel urinates on the camp so copiously he drowns the enemy men.

The giants try to carry away King Anarch to safety when they see their camp flooded. Pantagruel challenges Loup Garou, the leader of the giants, to one-on-one combat.

Before the fight, Pantagruel prays to God for strength since he is carrying out God’s will, and the heavens accept his prayer. Pantagruel uses Garou as a staff to knock the other giants unconscious. He beheads Garou and his men kill the fainted giants. Epistemon’s neck gets slit in the battle.

Saddened by Epistemon’s presumed death, Pantagruel considers killing himself. Panurge assures Pantagruel he can resurrect Epistemon. Panurge dresses Epistemon’s neck wound with wine, and stitches it shut. Epistemon revives and tells the company about all the great figures from antiquity, such as Alexander the Great, he met in the afterlife. Happy to find Epistemon alive, Pantagruel tells Panurge he can do what he likes with King Anarch.

Pantagruel dispatches Carpalim to the city of the Amaurots to announce King Anarch’s defeat. Rejoicing, the people of the city join Pantagruel to march in battle to Dispodia. Panurge settles King Anarch into the trade of being a crier of green sauce, or a seller of fish sauce, and marries him to an elderly sex worker from Lanternland. The narrator has heard the wife beats the husband every day.

The people of Dispodia surrender to Pantagruel freely and happily, save the Almyrodes. Pantagruel orders his men to capture the Almyrodes. On their way, the men are met by heavy rain. Pantagruel shields them by covering them with his tongue. Hiding nearby, the narrator can see inside Pantagruel’s mouth and goes in to explore the world inside. He spends six months traveling the many cities inside and writes their account in a book. When he exits Pantagruel’s mouth, he learns Pantagruel has conquered all of the lands of the Dispodes.

Pantagruel is struck by stomach pain and cannot eat or drink. He swallows 17 men enclosed in copper spheres so they can dislodge the mountain of feces blocking his intestines. With the task achieved, he spews the men out. Here, the narrator ends the first part of the history of Pantagruel.

This chapter is a combination of an almanac (a calendar filled with dates, information about the weather in the coming year, as well as general information) and a prognostication (prophecies or forecasts for the coming year). This almanac applies to the year 1533; its prophecies have been calculated to be absolutely accurate. God is the ruler of the world this year. On August 4 will occur a lunar eclipse that will not harm anyone if God is helping them. The blind will not be able to see, and the elderly will continue to age. It will be a fertile year in terms of crops. Various people will continue to suffer from their own natures. France will have a great year. There will be only one moon all year long.

Spring will produce half as many flowers as the other three seasons combined. Summer will be hot. Autumn will bring out all the thinkers and the hypocrites. Readers should stay warm during winter. Since the author knows learned men condemn the science of prophesying, he will focus on asking Jesus to give people what the lord thinks fit. In the Preface to the Almanac for 1535, the author uses knowledge from ancient Arabic, Greek, and Latin sources to make his predictions.