Funny You Should Ask

Chani wakes up the night after dancing to find Gabe texting her repeatedly. He invites her to his house party and says she can bring her tape recorder. That reminds her that this is all about the interview. She is nervous when she arrives and feels alone at the party, but the dog greets her with enthusiasm, and Gabe acts happy to see her. She notices that he’s been drinking.

A gossip column talks about a photo of Gabe on the red carpet with his mother and how he refuses to discuss his father. The article reveals that Gabe’s father died of a brain tumor when Gabe was 10.

Chani sits alone at Gabe’s party eating jellybeans. Gabe divides the party into teams for a game and makes sure Chani is on his team. She can tell he’s drunk.

They all write down a list of 10 items. Chani doesn’t know what to do, so Oliver writes her list. She realizes the game is to read a name off the list, then make the team members guess the name by offering clues. Once Chani gets the hang of it, she and Gabe make a great team, emphasizing their intangible connection and interest in each other as people.

Chani describes her perfect day. She would be walking a street in a small town wearing a cozy jacket. The street is decorated with twinkly lights. She walks into a bookstore and sees a cart of hot cider near the door with a sign that says “help yourself.” She’ll wander the bookstore and see a shelf with her books, and the staff will ask her to sign them.

Chani wakes up in Gabe’s bed, fully clothed and alone. She remembers the game and lying down in the dog bed by the puppy. She remembers Gabe carrying her to his bed. The house is quiet, and she’s embarrassed; she’s living up to the stereotype about female reporters who behave inappropriately with their interview subjects. She finds Gabe watching TV. He invites her to watch Star Trek with him. He tells her about his dad and how he doesn’t talk about him because he doesn’t want to share that memory with the public. He doesn’t want his dad to turn into a talking point about Gabe Parker’s life. Gabe says that for him, he feels fulfilled by acting when he can give something to others. In front of the camera, he knows who he is.

Gabe has a copy of the literary journal that published Chani’s short story. He likes the dragons in it. The piece is a peek into her mind, and she’s embarrassed. Gabe puts a hand on her knee, and though she is startled, Chani kisses him. They lie on the couch. Chani doesn’t want to be “just another starstruck fangirl who slept with her favorite movie star” (245) but kissing Gabe is amazing. He calls her “baby,” and Chani wonders if he forgot her name. She tells him to stop. They untangle, and Chani wonders why she didn’t go through with having sex with him. It’s not journalistic integrity that stopped her. They go to separate rooms for the night.

A critical review of the third Bond film notes the rift between actor and director and says it’s hard to believe this is the same man in rehab a few months later, heavy and bearded. It’s come to light that Oliver Matthias was offered the part and the offer was rescinded when the team learned he was gay.

Chani wakes in Gabe’s guest room and remembers that he’d smelled the whiskey on her breath and hadn’t kissed her. She admits that she is attracted to Gabe and realizes he is attracted to her, but she also admits she’s terrified of what might be beginning. He says he’s taking her out and as she pulls on boots, she sees the issue of Broad Sheets with the article. He explains that he’d forgotten, on Sunday, that she was writing an article about him. He’d thought that night had been just the two of them, not journalist and subject. He says she’s a good writer but he felt angry that she shared their time together with the world. He says he only half-remembers going to Vegas, and that he wanted to prove something. He made a deal with Jacinda to get married to help both of their careers. It had felt easier to be with someone who understands what it means to be famous. Chani apologizes that she hurt him.

Reviews of Chani’s second book are mostly flattering, but a Goodreads reviewer wants to know what really happened with Gabe Parker that weekend.

Gabe takes Chani out to show her Cooper, Montana. He tells her he bought the house in LA because he doesn’t want to live in a small town where everyone knows him all the time. Gabe shows Chani the theater he’s just bought. Chani thinks it’s perfect.

Gabe, out of rehab for the second time, says he doesn’t regret what he did because it pushed him to get help. He’s nearly 40 and not sure if he’ll ever have work again.

Chani and Gabe picnic on the stage of the theater. He asks about her writing, and she admits she’d like to try writing fiction but knows her agent and editor want her to keep doing what they know sells. Chani admits it’s scary to try something new. She recalls the night she and Jeremy were at a party when the host approached Chani, saying she was a fan of Chani’s work. Jeremy was struggling to finish his second novel and had been feeling resentful of Chani, saying she could just “churn out words” while his writing is “carefully crafted” (271). The host said Chani’s piece on Gabe Parker was her favorite celebrity profile ever, and Jeremy said everyone knows Chani slept with him. Chani was mortified, the host was embarrassed, and Chani knew her marriage was over. Jeremy apologized, but Chani knew he had meant what he said.

A review notes that the new Philadelphia Story updates the storyline and nails the casting. Parker as C. K. Dexter Haven is “droll, debonair, and pitch-perfect,” and he steals the show (274).

Gabe takes Chani to the bookstore, and his mother welcomes her. There’s a beverage cart with hot cider and a sign that says “help yourself.” There’s a bookshelf of staff recommendations, and Gabe wrote a note recommending Chani’s books. He says sometimes he fulfills the online orders and Chani guesses he knows how often she orders from this store. She agrees to sign the books, and Gabe reminds her she’s a great writer. She signs the book, but can still hear Jeremy’s voice in her head saying she only has a career because of the profile on Gabe and because everyone assumes she slept with him. Even now, sitting in a bookstore Gabe bought, signing books he’s promoting, she feels like she’s relying on him for her career. Chani meets Gabe’s sister, Lauren, and her daughter, Lena. Lauren’s husband died a few years previously and it’s been difficult for the family. They have a family dinner that ends in tension when Lena withdraws.

Chani reflects on her marriage and the routines they established. She mentions how her husband would sometimes work things she told him into his fiction. She thinks their marriage was simply founded on unsteady ground.

As they drive back to Gabe’s apartment, Chani asks him about the call he made to her the night before he entered rehab. He’d been very drunk and feeling sorry for himself, as it was right after he stormed off the set of Bond. He asked her to call him back. Chani tells him she did call back the next morning, and Jacinda answered his phone. She told Chani not to call again, but called her Tracy. Gabe admits that, all those years ago, he entered her in his phone as Tracy Lord, the female lead from The Philadelphia Story. They laugh and Chani feels like all of her questions have been answered, the last of her resentment laid to rest.

An interview with Chani about her debut collection, Tell Me Something I Don’t Know, mentions how her profile of Gabe Parker went viral. The interviewer asks about it, and she says, “Nothing happened. […] Don’t I wish, though?” (299).

Chani and Gabe go back to his apartment and have sex, and she realizes she is in love with him.

A gossip magazine reports that Chani and Gabe met for lunch. Their representatives confirm that she is writing a follow-up to the famous article from 10 years ago. The reporter says fans still want to know what happened that night.