Betty Before X

Tears are a literal, physical representation of emotional pain in Betty Before X. They represent different things in the story as the context changes. Shed tears can signify grief, rage, frustration, or happiness. Pastor Dames preaches that, “For every tear you sow, you will reap joy” (30), implying that tears can toil toward challenging goals, such as Betty’s pursuit for racial justice. The first time that Betty sees tears in Ollie Mae’s eyes, it is when Ollie Mae refuses to talk about the race riots, showing that tears can also represent the pain and grief of anti-Black racism and the violence it generates.

Tears also symbolize one of the most poignant thematic questions of the book. Betty asks herself, “Where do uncried tears go?” (68). The uncried tears represent the long-term oppression suffered by victims of racism in America, forced to hold their emotions and anger inside instead of risking the consequences of displaying that anger to a society that can punish them with impunity. Uncried tears represent the silence of the oppressed, the rage that leads to violence and riots, and the intense indignation of those who suffer injustice. Tears—both shed and held—represent the struggle of racism in America, which is as old as the country itself.

When Betty’s grandmother, Matilda, finds a bruise on one-year-old Bett’s neck, she immediately asks, “What happened to this child?” (3). Although Ollie Mae claims ignorance, the bruise is enough for Matilda to take Betty away from her. Bruising is a sign of impact. Like tears, a bruise is a physical manifestation of damage. The bruise symbolizes the rift between Ollie Mae and Betty, the distance between Ollie Mae and Matilda, and also the anguish of Ollie Mae’s former life.

Later, when Ollie Mae hits Betty with the switch after Betty fails to do the dishes, her anger disturbs Betty more than usual: “I think I know who left that bruise on me when I was just a baby learning to say Momma” (80). This realization represents a crossroads for her. Should Betty accept the past bruise as a symbol of her mother’s unforgivable behavior towards her? If she were determined, she could let the bruise fester into an unhealable wound. Or, should she forgive Ollie Mae and try to let the metaphorical bruise heal, as most bruises eventually do? Happily for their relationship, Betty insists on trying to forgive and nurture Ollie Mae with kindness, with promising results.