Becoming

In the Preface to her memoir, Michelle establishes herself as an ordinary person at heart who has undergone an extraordinary experience. Though Michelle acknowledges some of the incredible opportunities she’s had as the First Lady of the United States of America, she also notes some of the less pleasant aspects of that kind of attention and scrutiny: “There were days when I felt suffocated by the fact that our windows had to be kept shut for security, that I couldn’t get some fresh air without causing a fuss” (xi). Being the First Family of the United States comes with its share of privileges, and Michelle owns up to this, knowing that some might criticize her for sounding ungrateful for the opportunities she’s had. However, Michelle also hints at some of the intense scrutiny that her family has undergone in the spotlight, as well as the surreal quality of always being the center of attention, no matter where they go.

As a result, Michelle revels in some of the more mundane aspects of no longer carrying the responsibility of being First Lady, like making herself a piece of toast and sitting in her backyard, appreciating what feels “as close to a return to my old life as I’ve come” (xii). However, Michelle also addresses the responsibility she bears to use her platform and her voice to say something of significance. In doing so, Michelle anticipates criticism she might receive by suggesting that she has something important she wants to say, noting that although she might not feel special or different, her experiences have taught her something that she needs to share.

The memoir is broken down into three sections, the first of which is “Becoming Me.” In this section, Chapter 1 explores Michelle’s background and the things that have helped shape her into who she has become. Michelle places an emphasis on her family members, those closest to her who helped contribute to her life experience. In particular, Michelle focuses on her immediate family—her father, Fraser, her mother, Marian, and her brother, Craig—as well as some extended family members, like Aunt Robbie and Southside. She indicates how each family member helped make her into the person she is today. Her great-aunt Robbie’s strictness helped Michelle learn to speak up against authority when she thought it was being misused; despite their personality clashes, Robbie also teaches Michelle family loyalty when Michelle falters at the piano recital, and Aunt Robbie comes to her aid.

Marian’s leniency in allowing Michelle to question things and have opinions, rather than scolding her “for being sassy with an elder” (12) also allows Michelle the freedom to express herself; her grandfather, Southside, teaches Michelle a love of music but also endows her with an understanding of race relations in America. Michelle further explains other elements that contribute to how she was raised. Being surrounded by family and love helped her build her confidence, which she would need a lot of during her time in the White House. Michelle also carefully establishes her family wasn’t used to lavish lifestyles and fine things: “The issue was that I wasn’t used to flawless. In fact, I’d never once in my life encountered it” (15). Like the Preface, Michelle indicates that she is not from a privileged background and that she isn’t used to a lavish lifestyle; doing so connects her to her readers, who likewise probably weren’t born into wealth and luxury. In including these elements, Michelle suggests that becoming is a process, and that who we are is determined by many factors, not just a few isolated details.

In Chapter 2, Michelle explores beyond her happy, nurturing home to discover the outside world is much more nuanced and complex. Race, class, and poverty impact many of the interactions she describes, even if she did not recognize this as a child. For example, Michelle recalls her experience in kindergarten of reading the colors off the cue cards, calling it in hindsight “a subtle sorting going on” (17). Children who received a head start at home from parents who had the time, means, and ability to teach them had an advantage over those students who’d received no such instruction. In Michelle’s younger years, she describes her neighborhood as “middle-class and racially mixed,” and she fondly reminisces about how kids interacted “based not on the color of their skin but on who was outside and ready to play” (20).

As a child, Michelle did not notice much difference between racial or economic backgrounds because she had such a thriving and diverse community. Yet though the children readily mix together, many of Michelle’s non-black friends begin to move from the neighborhood, seeking “better” lives out in the suburbs. Craig, Michelle’s brother, lives up to their father’s belief that “most people were good people if you just treated them well” (22). However, even though he is well-known and popular around the neighborhood, he still gets profiled by a police officer for having a brand-new bike, which the officer views as suspicious because Craig is black and therefore stereotyped as poor. Fraser preaches tolerance and understanding, but simply by nature of visiting a predominantly white neighborhood, he is targeted by a hate crime when his car is scratched. As a young girl, Michelle cannot fully comprehend the implications behind all these events in her life, but with some distance and perspective she recognizes that poverty, class, and especially race influenced much of her childhood.